Funny jokes

The Other Woman

Doctors are used to getting calls at any hour. One night a man phoned, waking me up. "I'm sorry to bother you so late," he said, "but I think my wife has appendicitis."

Still half asleep, I reminded him that I had taken his wife's inflamed appendix out a couple of years before. "Whoever heard of a second appendix?" I asked.

"You may not have heard of a second appendix," he replied, "but surely you've heard of a second wife."

Math Problems

When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the nurse on duty. "On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is now?"

She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not good with math."

Batman and Robin go camping

Batman and Robin go camping in the desert one day. They find a suitable spot, pitch their tent and soon fall asleep. In the middle of the night, Batman wakes his faithful friend saying, "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Robin replies, "Why Batman, I see millions of stars."

Batman then asks him, "And what does that tell you?"

Robin is silent for a while while he thinks about this then he says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. And theologically, it's evidence the Lord is all-powerful and how small and insignificant we are. Meteorologically, it looks as though we're in for a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Batman?"

Batman is also silent for a moment, then says, - Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!?